BETA ROUND 1 WEEK 4: RETURNING TO THE HUB

[worldkeys]

Who: The White Rabbit and the Alices.
What: Ken's World has concluded, and everyone is probably in awful shape. Surgeries sure are fun. As are vivisections!
Where: The World Hub.
Warnings: Probably talk of what went on, potentially violence knowing this lot. A lot of broken down people, maybe.

The White Rabbit seems exceptionally cheerful once they finally return, not at all the usual picture of impatience he tends to be.

"At last, we have only three World Keys left to get. His and his, and hers," he says, motioning to Lalli, a certain General, and Harley. "This is wonderful. Would that we could only be able to retrieve them at once... alas, we must continue as we have. A shame he ended up out here, but I see it served you well."

He nods to Sasuke.

"I am confident you all can retrieve the other three and return home."

He seems completely oblivious to the suffering you all have endured, it seems.

Comments

[miseris_socios]

He volunteered. It's just that simple, huh? It's funny. It's funny, and part of him is laughing, his chest rising and falling in silent laughter, but if it's so funny why is he starting to cry? Why is he looking back towards the door where his Heart was?

"So did I." A while ago, in that place... he volunteered and they still got hurt, they still got experimented on, they were still dying. He couldn't save them and he'd just piled on extra pain because of it, watching them react to his surgery and his pain.

[not_that_sasuke]

The crying is what gets him worried the most, although he has no idea how to stop it even if wanted to. He's useless when it comes to that sort of thing - as with quite a few things, really.

So instead, he tries to continue the conversation. Maybe talking will help?

"You volunteered... back there?" In the real one?

[miseris_socios]

"Yes." It hurts, the memory, and he hugs his arms to his chest, trying to make the pain go away. The goop doesn't matter - it'll disappear in a few seconds. But the pain...

"The others in Strega. I asked Jason to take me instead of them the next time he was going to experiment on them. And he took me, and gave me what he was going to give them, and then afterwards experimented on them anyway. So... so it didn't really matter that I... tried to save them. I couldn't. I can't..."

He falls to his knees, palms slamming against the brick as the tears keep flowing. "I couldn't save them. I can't save anyone."

[not_that_sasuke]

He crouches down as Ken does, a mild expression of concern crossing his features. He's not the best at expressing himself, but he does tentatively put a hand on Ken's back, patting him lightly.

"...It's over now. That place... it just brought it up again to upset you." That's what all of these Worlds do.

[miseris_socios]

He freezes at the contact, closes his eyes and wipes at his face. No. He has to stop crying, he has to keep going. Even if his emotions are killing him, he has to keep at it.

"Maybe. But it's true. I'm... I know I'm not as bad as he was, but I... it's like I can't feel it anymore." Even though he's crying, it's hard to feel something. Why is he like this? It's so stupid, but he can't make himself feel anything.

[not_that_sasuke]

...This is not a very easy conversation for someone who has a history of asking strange spirits to lock away his feelings.

That said, he doesn't really know what to say. He'd always wanted to stop feeling - from heat and cold to outright pain, he'd wanted to lock away all of it. If he'd had his way, he would have simply ceased to exist.

"...Since when?" He seemed to get riled up in other Worlds. Is this a new development due to his Heart...?

[miseris_socios]

"I don't... know. It's hard to... care, because if I'm... if I'm just going to fail anyway... if I'm just going to keep failing to save people..." But he has to try. He can't stop trying. He sits back on his heels and rubs at his face, watching the black goop drip around him.

"They're... they can't give up. Maybe even if I fail... they don't have to."

[not_that_sasuke]

This, at least, is a familiar feeling. Except... he'd never actually been able to do any good himself, which makes him once again a terrible adviser for this. As a result, he just keeps gently rubbing Ken's back as he speaks.

"You've helped." That much is true. In the other Worlds, Ken was actively working with the rest of them. "But... just one person can't do everything, either."

One person can't save everyone.

[miseris_socios]

"They're all dead, or they're going to be. It's so... stupid. I... I mean there's..."

There's people in other worlds, but it's not his own, and he can't run away to other worlds forever. They have their own lives, ones that don't involve him, and it's not like he could impose on them forever. He has a mission, he has a goal, he wants to help other people, but...

"... I have to do as much as I can. I don't... if I don't, no one will." Maybe he can't save the entire world, but he can save other people from horrible situations. That, at least, he can do.

[not_that_sasuke]

The hand on his back pauses for just a second before he continues gently patting the younger boy.

"It's like you carry the weight of the world on your shoulders..." or maybe 'worlds' would be more appropriate here?

[miseris_socios]

He laughs again, and this time it's a more hollow one, even more than before. Him? No. Not really. Not the same way. "I do what I have to. I try to do it in the way that hurts people as little as possible, but..."

... Well. They all saw that it was impossible back there, didn't they?